6 Times Commercials were full of Terrible People

Toyota Wants You To Be Irresponsible, Causes Personal Economic Crisis

 

 

The scene opens. Interior of a high end restaurant kitchen.  An older guy confronts a young woman. He throws out her food, unhappy with her work. She rolls her eyes, throws away her jacket and storms out of the kitchen… and into a brand new Toyota.

The song “You Don’t Own Me!” plays.  This is a defiant stance against the establishment. That guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about!  He may own a restaurant and employee a dozen or so people but screw him!

Defying authority can be fun! Sometimes it’s even something to be admired. However, its disingenuous coming from someone trying to sell you something. The car in the commercial is at least $22,000.

Play this scene out.

Same woman goes into a Nissan dealership.

“I want the new Toyota Corolla, with push to start and kick ass stereo! Oh and that cool lane awareness that keeps me from drifting into oncoming traffic as I sing power ballads!”

The saleswoman says “No problem! Are you paying cash or will you be financing this?”

“Well, I don’t have the cash, so I’ll be financing.” She responds.

“Let’s get started. We’ll need pay stubs and proof of employment?”

“Well, I just quit my job. My boss was jerk.” The former chef snaps.

“Wow that is terrible.  Do you have any collateral you can put down to get a loan maybe? Like a 401k or any savings?” The saleswoman is obviously deflated.

“No, I don’t have a 401k or have any savings, I keep quitting jobs.” The former chef responds.

“What about a cosigner? Parents maybe…” the Saleswoman is desperate.

“I don’t really speak to my parents.  I have no coping skills and storm away from problems rather than learning from them so we don’t talk as they don’t support my every impulsive action.” She looks ready to storm out again.

The former chef is mad, hurt, confused, all the emotions she is incapable of handling are hitting her all at once. Wait! She has an idea. She is going to buy a food truck!

The commercial appears to have a happy ending. She gets a food truck!  But wait…

The old chef was still right. If you think that there is an equivalence between the standards of fine dining, brick and mortar restaurants and a food truck you are wrong. The only correlation is eating. Maybe her cooking is good enough for stoned surfers down by the beach. This doesn’t invalidate the old chef’s judgement.

Also, this is obviously not her food truck. Those things are expensive (Between $25,000 and $100,000) and banks will not give you the loan needed to start a business if you have a history of not being able to hold down a job.  Therefore, she has a boss and they will still want her to do things their way!

But let’s say this is somehow her truck. That’s worse.

You are watching her descent in crippling debt and failure.  What happens when she has to get a food license?  Health inspections? With her poor coping skills she’ll just quit and abandon the truck in a parking lot. But at least the song is cool!

 

Campbell’s Real Life is full of Really Mean People

 

Campbell’s Makes People Jerks

 

First no one lives their life like this.

His mom is not her mom so they are not siblings… so the natural assumption is they are a couple.

They probably share a bed. If he was sick he may have slept on the couch, but no decent person would be finding out their partner is sick as they’re about to leave.

Did she wake up without him or go to bed without him? Did she not check on him before getting ready?

That is how you end up with a dead body.

 

“I swear officer I didn’t know he was dead.”

“C’mon, you live together. How did you not know he was dead for three days?”

“Well, I don’t really check on him unless he sits by the door.”

 

Anyway, he tells her how he’s feeling and tells her a sentimental story of his childhood and his mom making him soup.

A smile crosses her face. She gets an idea and a shit eating grin on her face, a psychotic grin as she plays with her victim.

She gleefully gets the phone… and chucks it at him! She doesn’t hand it to him. She throws it at him without looking! She tells him to call his mom, and doesn’t even look back.

This guy doesn’t need his mom or magic healing soup… he needs to drain her brake fluid while it’s still snowing! I’m starting to think this is some kind Misery prisoner situation.

Then we cut to this sad shell of a man making soup. To add insult to injury, the narrator kicks in “There when no one else is.” They might as well add in “No one loves you and you’re going to die alone.”

It’s cliché but let’s engage role reversal.

Watch the commercial in your mind again, but this time she’s sick and he’s heading out. He tells her to call her mom, tosses the phone at her and heads out.

Is he an asshole? Would you snap your fingers and tell her she needs to get with a real man?

 

The Verizon Woman is a Killer Robot

 

Verizon’s Inhuman Commercial

 

I’ll be blunt, this woman is a robot.

Look at this woman, stare into her dead eyes. She body doesn’t move as she talks. Mute the commercial and watch her.  She doesn’t move her hands or her body.  She is literally a talking head.

 

“I do everything on the internet.”

 

Who says that? This is such an inhuman thought. I dare you to just work into social conversations

 

“I like cats.”

“Cool, I do everything on the internet.”

 

No one talks like that. No human anyway.

 

“My friends said I should get FIOS.”

 

Verizon does not know how their own internet market works. MOST people don’t have a choice in their internet. If they are so fortunate it is between the Cable Company (usually rated worst in customer service right behind unlicensed contractors and just ahead of kidnappers) and some “other option”. That’s were Verizon comes in.

 

“I just download 600 photos in 60 seconds.”

 

Ok, think about it… where can you download 600 photos?  Why would you need it done in less time that it takes to go to the bathroom?  What are these photos of? Did she just hack a spy satellite and is getting surveillance photos of her target?  I have less than 600 photos in my entire history on Facebook. Granted, I’m socially stunted but still.

She ends the commercial with “I wonder what else could be better around here (Implying she is thinking of replacing the background husband)?”

What crisis could drive you to replace a person?  Milk, or the lack of it.

The faceless husband (I’m assuming husband, possibly human slave) announces that they are out of milk, and she gets the crazy eyes and think of replacing him.

That’s machine thinking. Don’t replace the milk, replace the failed component.

 

Zyrtec Makes People Cruel and Incompetent

 

Seasonal allergies make your eyes water, so badly they swell shut, and yes you sneeze.  You turn into a mushed ball of ache and watery eyes and I usually skip work because I would be unpleasant to be around.  However, if I worked with these jerks I would stay home and not endure their torture.  Seriously, this scene plays like something out of Saw.

Seasonal Allergy Jerks

You can tell its allergy season by the flowers in bloom and can even see huge blobs of pollen floating in the background.  Real subtle.  I haven’t seen plant life this actively trying to kill people since the Happening.

But what is their response?  Roll down the windows!  All four windows are down.  If the front seat passenger is suffering from allergies, or giant attacking pollen blobs, why wouldn’t she at least roll up her own window?

Answer: They’ve locked out window control.  They are making her face her allergies like an angry dad who caught their kid smoking and makes them smoke a whole carton.

Clearly, these evil people know what they are doing.

Look at the tray of drinks the barista hands the driver.  They all have lids, except the one for the front passenger.  She is being set up.

She doesn’t help herself though.  She’s going to sneeze but look at what she does… she brings the drink to her face.  Either she is rendered so incompetent by her allergies that she is trying to drink and sneeze at the same time or she doing it on purpose.

She’s thinking, “Screw you window controlling assholes!” and proceeds to sneeze whip cream all over.

The scene plays out again, windows down, uncapped drink, but this time the ladies are in casual clothes.  Maybe its casual Friday (I can’t believe that these ladies have such abusive relationships that they are actually friends outside of work).

This time however, they threaten to not give the women her whip cream mountain drink and she gives them a knowing look.  “I messed up your car once, I’ll do it again!”

 

Vegas Turns You In To A Jerk Who Wants To Be Caught

 

I read a Batman comic that explained why the Riddler would never get away with anything.  Batman explains that deep down Riddler wants to be caught and that’s why he leave clues.

This commercial is the shitter version of that.

He Wants to be Caught

This starts out with a husband being told by his wife, “I just got a postcard.”  Meaning the postcard was meant for her and it’s from him, like a confession.

His work trip was cancelled so he went to Vegas.  He reads all this with a smile.  The kind of smirk that says, “I screwed hookers and did blow for two days.”

Oh and his phone died.  He could have charged it but he didn’t want to.  Now, he’s just bragging!

Just to rub it in her trapped in a loveless marriage face, he ends the story with “sad face emoji”.

She just shakes her head and walks off to look at sad old photos and wonder where it all went wrong.  These two have had a conversation that ended, “Look, I know you cheat just stop telling me about it.”

Vegas is trying to be a family place and hold onto their edgier side; but this is just cruel.  Yeah he ran off to Vegas without even telling his wife (that’s one level of douche) but then instead of getting away with it, he bragged (that’s a second level of douche reserved only for the experienced sad face emoji user).

This makes me miss the days when Vegas was just about lying to strangers and taking their money.

The Good Old Days

 

Charmin Creates a World Where Humanity has Fallen

 

Commercials exist to sell you a product, if they are entertaining it’s in order to sell you something.

To that end Charmin has created this ongoing marketing campaign starring bears. They created a whole world around these red and blue bears and their obsession with toilet paper.  But if you really watch these commercials (as I have to a degree only known to my therapist) this is in fact a nightmare world.

Bear Commercial

 

They have technology; more precisely our technology. They have supplanted humanity as the dominant species on the planet.

You could argue that this is an alternate dimension that bears have evolved instead of humans and the fall of the human species didn’t happen but instead we just never made it up the evolutionary ladder. However, this doesn’t look likely. It seems these bears were once normal bears.

In earlier commercials the bears lived in the woods and they hung their toilet paper on a tree.  Then they found toilet paper (like the Monolith in 2001) and they evolved.  Now, they live in houses.

So bears are people now.  They have the trappings of a home (probably taken when the original owners were drug off to the toilet paper making camps) and they have technology (video games), art (poster on the wall), and most of all the concepts of clothes!

“Cleans so well it keeps your underwear clean.”  They know the ways of underwear.

They wear underwear!  Or more importantly they don’t.

Four teenage bear-boys with knowledge of their shame before their Bear God are in a basement, discussing their poo fetishes and they are doing it nude!

They know what underwear is and its purpose, and aren’t wearing any.

Then the mother bear comes down and she’s naked as all get out too.

Once you’ve introduced the concept of underwear into this world… shouldn’t they be wearing it? Aren’t’ they naked if they don’t?  There is a basement full of naked teenage boys playing video games and the naked mom is ok with this.

It doesn’t stop there.

Bear Apocalypse

Starting with the obvious, the TSA Bear is wearing clothes, clothes are a thing in this world, but the family is naked and now in public.

But there is a huge implication here, the bear TSA.

That means that there was a Bear equivalent of 9/11.

Are there Terrorist Bears? Take the issues facing the world and the Middle East right now and replace the people with bears.  Was there a toilet paper disagreement that lead to all out bear holy war?

polar_bear_bin_laden

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Why Living Up To Other People’s Standards Matters

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In my ongoing weight loss/fitness/health journey I’ve always been challenged by running.  I never liked it and I was never particularly good at it.  Even in my younger days when I was a competing athlete I found other ways to up my cardio (drills, jumping rope, etc.) rather than run.

In my early thirties, at the bottom of my life thus far, I was edging over 300lbs and sat in my doctor’s office.  My knee had started to hurt so much and often that I couldn’t enjoy a day at a theme park or a fair outside.  Randomly it would pop and leave me couch bound for a day.

My doctor gave me the facts.  Lose weight or get surgery.

As terrified as I was of the running monster, the surgery monster was worse.

I had to get special shoes designed for heavy people to start moving in.  I started off walking/jogging for 45 minutes.  Then I would try to get farther in that 45 minutes.  I then set a goal of doing three miles when I ran.

Three miles turned into a 5k’s.  5k’s turned into 10k’s.  Two years later I am running a 10k every Sunday just to stay on top.

Then came the half marathon.

This week I will be running my first marathon.  A little more than 4 years after facing knee surgery I am going to run a full marathon.  26.2 miles.

The thought occurred to me.  Why does that matter?

It is an achievement.  It’s damn hard.  It shows exactly how far I’ve come in so many ways.

Would it be the same if I ran 25 miles though?  Who decided that 26.2 was the distance to run?

Yes, I know the history… not my point.

It is a standard set by a community and determined as “hard”.  The respect of others for this distance makes it an achievement.

In a world that pushes judgement aside and rejects shaming, I am telling you that there is value in the respect of others.

Yes, I did the work in private.  Daily, watching my diet.  Being disciplined to work and train and make decisions.  In a way the race is already run in all the work I’ve done.

But it’s not.  It’s not until I officially run it.  Until I run the distance and do the deed.  Achievements matter.

When the world tells you that you need to understand and have compassion for the underachiever, they’re right.  However, understand and compassion won’t help them and it certainly won’t help you.

Having bars to reach for is important, and you are not a bar to yourself.  Yes, beat your best records.  Be better than you were yesterday.  Being your best self is the point of this site (expect for some fun).

But as some point you need to stop competing against yourself and overcome something or someone outside yourself.  You will need to be tested.

I can say I ran a marathon at 25 miles, but I didn’t.  I can call a marathon 25 miles but it’s not.  Is 25 miles hard?  Yup.  Is it a personal best for me?  100%.  Is it an achievement?  Sure.  Is it a marathon?  Nope and it never will be.

Think back to the movie the Matrix.  What if Neo stayed in the training program?  What if he jumped that building again and again… sparred with Morpheus… but he never rose to the challenge the world… the system outside him set.  Remember what Morpheus said about the Agents?

Morpheus: We’ve survived by hiding from them, by running from them. But they are the gatekeepers. They are guarding all the doors, they are holding all the keys. Which means that sooner or later, someone is going to have to fight them.
Neo: Someone?
The world has standards and sooner or later you (or if not you, someone) will have to fight them.

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Is Your Fandom an Obligation?

 

Fandom is a great thing.  It builds a community around you.  I can inspire you.  It appeals to a huge tribal instinct deep inside us.

However, does your fandom constitute an obligation on your part?

At base level of course it does.

Let’s say you go to a friend’s house and watch a football game.  You meet a person who is decked out, head to toe, 100% in team attire.  Then they ask you how many points a team gets for a touchdown…

Is that person a fan?  I think we’d all agree no.

So, let’s say you go to comic book convention and see someone decked out in a $5,000 Batman costume.  Jokingly, you say “Uh oh…  Joker better look out!”  They reply,

“Joker, who’s that?”

You would shred that person’s fan card immediately!

So, yes at a base level your Fandom requires you to be knowledge about what you are a fan of.  There is an obligation.  So let’s take it a step further…

Let’s take our Batman fan.  Let’s say you grill them and ask them every question there is to ask about Batman.  They nail them all!  Congrats fanboy!

So then you ask, “Why do you love Batman so much!?”

“Well, Batman is the epitome of human perfection.  He’s honed his body and mind to perfection and has an iron will.”

Looking at your new friend you notice he’s really overweight.

Does this make him any less of a fan?

Is it intellectually honest to admire Batman and be Fat?

Shouldn’t our heroes compel us to be better?  Shouldn’t we try to emulate our heroes?

If we don’t emulate their better traits are we really fans?

 

We can’t be rich like Batman, but we can be disciplined like Batman.  We can train our mind and body like he does.  And if he admire these characteristics in him aren’t compelled to do so?  If we don’t doesn’t that diminish our fandom?

I think so.

 

But instead we have this…

capture

 

There are so many overweight comic book fans that this company advertises 4X and 5X shirts are now available.  They must have gotten that many requests for larger size that they felt the need to advertise the larger sizes.

Being overweight and a comic book fan goes hand in hand so much that it’s a stereotype.

There is something disingenuous about it.

 

What about other Heroes?

 

Captain America volunteered to put what little he had on the line to fight evil.

If you don’t volunteer your time to make the world better are you a real Captain America fan?

 

Wonder Woman left her comfortable life to change the world.

If you don’t try to make a difference are you a real Wonder Woman fan?

 

If your heroes don’t move you and they don’t change you then you maybe not be much of a fan.

At the end of the day these heroes are real but you are; if you are a fan there is an obligation to be more like your hero.

 

Apathy Vs. Acceptance

636033292186769616862054968_apathy-i-dont-care

It was a surreal time.  Last year, mid election, mid terror attacks, mid everything in the world…  Transgender bathrooms became a hotly debated topic.  Really?

You know who really didn’t care?  Trans genders.  They didn’t want the attention, they didn’t want the spotlight.  For the most part they wanted to be left alone.  They wanted apathy.

Do you know what holds back social progress?  Acceptance.

When someone, probably angrily, tells everyone they need accept this new idea.

You know what?  They fucking don’t.  They really don’t.  And so the battle begins.

 

Change!

No!

Change!

No!

 

You know who suffers?  The people waiting for acceptance, when all they really want (for most part) is to be left alone.  Let’s be clear.  This isn’t the Civil Rights movement.  Ok?

 

We are not talking about Voting Rights.

We are not talking about diner counters, water fountains, and bus seats.

We are not talking about integrating schools.

 

We are talking about bathrooms.  For fuck’s sake most schools even have LGBTQ clubs.  At an age when schools used to tell kids “Wait to have sex.”  they now say “Try having sex with, try it all out…”

Honestly, Anyone who compares the Gay Rights struggle in the 2000’s with the Civil Rights struggle in the 1950’s and 1960’s owes black people an apology and free (gentle) knock upside the head.

 

If real “rights” were being denied, they we need acceptance.  What we are talking about is social perception.  (Side note: The Government is not designed to changed social perception with law, that’s just stupid)  When you want to change Social Perception you want apathy not acceptance.

 

What’s the difference?

 

Acceptance – A dramatic, long fought, court battle ends with a transgender person walking into a Target bathroom surrounded by applause.  The crowd goes silent… then a flushing sound…  Applause!  All ages and races approve and high five each other.

 

Apathy – A transgender person goes into a bathroom.  Uses the stall.  No one cares.  No one notices.  Life goes on.

 

See.  You can have apathy today!

 

Here’s the problem with acceptance…

 

  • You can’t, and shouldn’t, demand it. You don’t have the right.
  • It requires attention, or “awareness” in popular tongue, and it forces that attention on those who maybe don’t want it.

 

You don’t have that problem with apathy.  Apathy is also fair.  Your religion is yours to decide, your lifestyle is yours to decide, your political beliefs… on and on.  Your life is yours to live.

 

Think this through…

 

Acceptance

 

You go to buy a cake with two grooms on it.  The baker doesn’t want to do it.  You go to a government bureaucracy and say you were discriminated against.  Spend dozens of hours “fighting the good fight”.  Lawyers are involved.  The baker is fined out of existence.  A national dialogue is started.  Some people side with you.  Some people don’t.  Your wedding becomes a political flashpoint.

 

 

Apathy

 

You go to buy a cake with two grooms on it.  The baker doesn’t want to do it.  Find a baker who does.  The baker who refused doesn’t make money, the baker who does want to makes money.

No one cares.  You move on.  You get a cake.

 

 

Think about what the world would be like if more people, the government especially, stopped trying to affect social perception and just embraced apathy.

Again, I’m not talking about harm being done to people, I’m not talking about “real” rights being denied.  I’m talking about bathrooms and cakes.

Apathy beats Acceptance every time.

So go forth… don’t be an asshole… don’t demand people accept you… be happy if they just don’t care.

 

Accepting the Worst…

2015-05-12-exhausted

 

Anyone who knows me knows a few things about me.

  • I am worrier; the compulsive type.
  • I am a man of action, I have to be doing something.

These two things seem contrary and they are.  That’s kind of the point.  I worry about a great many things.

When I was a little kid I would worry about my older brothers wandering off in the store and getting taken.  I had nightmares about my family being in danger.  This was like when I was four.

I became paralyzed with worry for the first time when I learned my Dad was going to die.  I was seven and my mom told us that he’s sick and he’s not going to be getting better.  I went to the backyard of my grandmother’s house and sat in a tree and cried.

I was worried.

I remembering telling myself, “This is it.  This is how people become homeless.  No one is born homeless, this is how it happens.”  I was also obsessed with the fact that I now would only have one parent.  If anything happened to my mom I would have to live with my aunt who I did not get along with.  It would mean moving away too.

My life was over.  In that moment our house was gone and my mother was dead along with my dad.  The worst case scenario played out in my head.

I remember feel like I couldn’t do anything.  I felt compelled to try but couldn’t.  I racked my brain for hours, days, weeks, and months.  I had to do something.  I accepted the worst circumstances as realty and decided to prepare myself for them.  I started to discipline myself, read more, and become more self-reliant.

As a result, to this day I am more self-reliant than any of my brothers.  I know how to fix things, reason things out, take care of myself, improve myself and be self-reliant.

Do I worry less?  No.  Not even a little.  Possibly more.

There are things you can change.  This whole blog is all about being your best yourselves.  Sometimes acceptance of a limitation is the first step finding your best self.

You can change how you act.  You can change how you respond.  But deep down…

I will always worry.  Again, compulsively.

BUT it doesn’t stop me.

At the next lowest part of my life I was out of shape, newly divorced, fresh out of foreclosure, deep in debt, and living in a rented room at a friend’s house.

I had plenty to worry about.

And I did.

But it didn’t stop there.  I had to act.  Act or die, literally.

I accepted the worst scenarios of circumstances as realty and started again.

 

I decided who I wanted to be.

I decided what I needed to do.

I decided who I wanted to be with.

 

A lot of people say that worry is like a weight that wears you down.  Their advice is take it off and put it down.  I wish it were so easy.  It sounds like a fairy tale to me sometimes.

You look at people drowning in debt and unable to stop.  You look at people dying from eating and can’t stop.  They constantly break down and cry (it’s all very TV/Facebook friendly).  Why can’t they just put down there worry?  Because they fucking can’t!

You can’t just stop having your problems.  You just can’t stop worrying.  It doesn’t work like that.  You need to own it.  Harder yet, accept it.  Its not going anywhere.

 

My advice, for those who find themselves like me, is learn to lift it.  Learn to be stronger.

 

It will bend you, but it won’t break you.

It’s heavy, get stronger.

Learn to rest, but only when it’s earned.

 

There is no magic formula to stop worrying.  You just learn to be stronger.  That’s it.

No pretty pictures.  No inspirational quotes.  You will fail.  Let me make that clear.

You will fail.

You will fall.

You will have bad days… weeks… months…  but you will get stronger.  Do the work and you will get stronger.  Head down, shoulder in, be savage.

It will hurt.  Listen, that’s life!

When you are worried, and you feel paralyzed, face it.  Accept the realistic worst case scenario as fact.  Acknowledge the world has not ended and do something.

You are in debt.  You will have to pay it off.  It will take years.  It is going to hurt.  Accept it.

Do your budget.  Cut deep.  Get it done.

You got dumped.  You are alone.  What was your fault and what was there?  It hurts.  It won’t kill you.  You will move on because you have to.

Decided who you want to be and who you what to be with.  Do what you need to do.  Accept what you need to accept.

You are sick and out of shape.  You can’t fucking eat like that anymore.  You have to exercise.

Find an exercise you like and do it.  No excuses.  No being tired from work.  No being stressed.

You are tired and stressed because you didn’t exercise.  Face it.  No one made you this way but you.

You don’t like your condition, where and how you live.  What are you going to do about it?

 

Finally…

 

You are not wrong for worrying.  Stop beating yourself up about it.

You are entitled to your worry as long as you earn it.  If you are a fucking dynamo of improvement, work, and self-reliance then you are entitled to worry about whatever you want.  You are entitled to your worry, your happiness, and the life you make for yourself.

Did you do something today about what you worry about?  Then you earned it.

 

Worry won’t stop you.  Keep going.  You will be stronger.

How to treat a Man… 

 

broken-man

Right now in the world there is a lot of talk against men.  The very thought of this article is probably going to be met by many with a “Fuck em… they need to learn what it’s like to be on the shit side of life for a while!”  If that is your response that so be it.  It is natural to want to attack those who have attacked you.

If you are a woman whose been “kept down” (even if it is really a creation in your mind) by men then you see all men as the enemy.  Ok, you choose that relationship with men.  You choose to make an adversary of half the population, and namely the other half of the human identity.  It’s a bold move let me know how that works out for you.

For those of you that don’t want to have an enemy in 50% of the world’s population here is a guide to helping some of the men in your life navigate the negativity in their world and to be their best selves.

 

Your father…

Forgive him.  You won’t understand his role in your life until you are him if ever.  Could he have done better, probably.  If you are a grown adult (which if you are not stop reading, this site is not for you) then accept he did what he did.  It may not have done his best but there is no changing it.  If you are angry at him you are just hurting yourself.  Distance sure… but forgive.

If none of the above apply, and you had a great time even some of the time.  Show him gratitude.  He’s been freaking out for years that you are screwed up and it’s his fault.  You can take the weight off the shoulders of someone who loves you to just let him know, “I got this.  Thank you for getting me this far.”  Gratitude is other side of forgiveness.  It sets you free.

 

Your brother…

Understand him.  You can think things were different for him than you.  Being a guy… yeah they were.  But look, nothing is easy for anyone.  He dealt with rejection in a way you don’t understand.  He dealt with every bit of identity and personality issues you did.  Just different.  He probably didn’t arrive where he is now without some damage, just like you.  If you want to talk difference, well he can’t show it.  He might not even be able to acknowledge it.  If he didn’t have an example of what being a man is today then he may be lost, confused, angry, or all of the above.  Be patient with him and encourage him.  If nothing else be a good part of his life so he knows where the peace is when he needs it.

 

Your lover…

Help him.  Really.  Tell him you love and support him.  Show him you love and support him.  Never take him for granted.  Help him be his best self.  Above all, don’t be difficult.  Be an active partner.  It’s not just you that likes romantic gestures, flowers, and candy.  When was the last time you got him a gift?  A comic book at the grocery store… candy… a toy… anything?  So many women don’t but at the same time expect flowers and surprises.  It’s not fair.  Guys accept that, but it still sucks.  You may never know the stress of having to be leader in a relationship, it can be the source of his greatest strength and his greatest stress all at once.  Help him.  Whenever possible don’t be difficult, pick a restaurant, plan a date, do something different for him.  The biggest thing you can offer is your affection.  Simply put, guys love to chase you… if you love him be easier to catch.  Treat him like he is the best man in your life and he will rise to that occasion.

 

Everyone else…

Be at peace with them.  Trust me, I know you need to be or at least appear strong to get by in the world.  Instead of treating everyone like the enemy and letting hate into your life, live by this principle, “Make savage the body, Civilize the mind.”  Be ready for an enemy, but have your mind ready to accept dialogue and make peace.  Think over the events of the last few days.

My principle are…

To be at peace with myself and the world.

To be ready for war with myself and world.

To be my best self and help all those would want help to be their best selves.

 

I hope you share these principle with me.  The events of the last few days are not the actions of those who are at peace with themselves.  They are the actions of the scared, the hurt, and angry.  While that is understandable it is not a place of peace with one’s self and therefore is a poor place to go to war from.

Be at peace with yourselves ladies.  Work to be at peace with the world around you.  Prepare for war, but seek peace.

Planning Part 3: This Time It’s Personal

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So it comes to this.  The final requirement you need for a plan.

I’ll keep this short because it is pretty clear.

 

Progress.

 

A plan is nothing without progress.  Really think it out folks.

You can follow step 1, make a plan, write it down, and create it.

You can follow step 2, share it, be accountable, and put yourself on the line.  However, without step three what do you really have?

Nothing.  You have ideas and paper.  The world is filled with people who have ideas and paper, though now it is all Facebook posts but the idea is the same.

Without acting on those ideas you have nothing but intention and that’s not much.  Trust me.

 

So, back to step three…  Can you show me your progress?

Can you show me your work?  Only if you did the work.

Can you show me the change you made?  Only if it was successful.

 

Action and success are the blood and heartbeat of a plan.  Everything up to now has been building the bones and brains of the plan but without the blood and heartbeat of doing your plan is a corpse.

 

So why do I need show progress?  Why can’t I just have progress without showing it others?

 

Because you need to face that fire.

You need to face the criticism and your work will speak for itself.

You need to see those raised expectations and be challenged to start this whole process again.

 

Eat your failures for fuel.  Enjoy your wins and ask “If I came this far, how far could I go?”

 

So here we are… you have plan?  Great, do something!  Every day to get there.

People will tell you that you need to make the choice every day to work on your plan.  I disagree.

You only need to make the decision once.  Your heart makes the decision to beat once and then cannot stop.  Think of your plan and the call to action the same way.

 

I will work out every day.  This will get me to my goal.  This will help me be the best me.  Without this I will be stressed, I will be tired, I will be weak.  I am deciding in this moment I don’t want to be like that anymore.  I am declaring my will to be better.

 

Tomorrow…

 

I don’t feel like it…

I’m tired…

 

FUCK IT!

I’m not dead and it’s not my choice.  I’m not sick.  I’m not going to harm myself.  In fact quite the opposite.  I AM HARMING MYSELF IF I STOP!

I HAVE TO DO IT!

I made the choice in a solemn moment when I set a goal and made the choice.

I MUST DO IT.

There is no choice.  It is the heartbeat of my plan.  Without this my plan dies.  I will not let my plan die.

You do not have a choice.  You made the choice.  Do something!

 

Give LIFE to your plans and be your best selves.

What’s Wrong with Superman? In Defense of Lex Luthor: Libertarian…

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I recently spent some time thinking about some of my favorite heroes.  With the resurgence of my childhood heroes (Marvel Cinematic, Voltron on Netflix, etc. etc.) I have been thinking about the heroes I liked as a kid and now as an adult and how that’s changed.

I came to the hero of heroes… Superman.

As a kid I didn’t really like Superman but as an adult I did.

Why was that?  For me, when you are a kid you don’t really know pain.  You think you do but you don’t.  You don’t know paying the rent.  Disappointing someone you love.  You don’t know the first time you have a major medical scare and realize you won’t BE forever.  That’s pain.

When you are a kid you don’t need Superman.  Superman is the guy that wins.  He’s always so powerful and so good that he can’t lose (Even when he died he won!).

The mind rejects the idea of Superman losing.  Superman shows up and cleans everything up and the good guys win.  When you are a kid you reject that story because you foolishly ache to grow up so you reject the Superman that fixes it all.

When you are an adult you want the Superman to come back.  You struggle with your own mortality and your daily mounting problems.  You want to believe in the idea that an all-powerful guy is going come down and help you.

And that is why Superman is wrong, bad for us, and needs to be stopped (Or at least we need to stop depending on Superman or the Superman figures we’ve built for ourselves in real life).

So it turns out Lex Luthor was right.

Lex Luthor’s gripe against Superman has taken different forms through the years but it essentially comes down to this: Lex Luthor is a humanist.  He believes in potential of humanity, mostly because he feels he exemplifies it.  He thinks he is the real Superman.

He makes the argument that Superman holds people, humanity as a whole, back.  He is the all-powerful nanny that keeps us from growing up.  The crutch that the human race will never get off.

(Insert your big government political metaphors here!  They fit quite nicely!  I mean the guy with all the power gets make the decisions right…  And if we give anything in life all that power they’ll be just like Superman right… that’s how it’s worked out right?)

People look at Luthor as the villain but he is just playing the long game.  He believes that long term humanity needs to struggles to advance.

He is not wrong.

It’s easy to hate Luthor.  He’s not like Superman who has born with all the power and cannot fail (Like say a massive social structure that is powerful by its nature and only gets stronger).  He’s just a really smart guy who is comparatively frail, weak, let’s be honest just like us.  We want to believe in the illusion of Superman being so much better than us that Luthor becomes the dumping ground for what hate.

He’s the evil corporation (though he makes jobs, provides health care, and advancement for thousands), with his evil technology (though he must be selling something people want… L-Phones or something), and he is just wants people to suffer (by making them reach their true potential through hard work and shit).

Compare Luthor to other comic villains.  Other villains will go after other heroes, Luthor is fixated only on Superman.  He only has issues with other heroes when they get in his way of going after Superman.

Why is that?

I think he sees other humans gaining power as a good thing.

He looks at Batman and thinks “Way to go!  Wished you agreed with me on the alien holding us back.” (Which he sometimes does)

He looks at Cyborg and thinks “Alright, progress!  Shiny!”

He looks at Flash and thinks “Well that’s good, but such a waste!”  He doesn’t have the hatred for him even though he can be argued to be more powerful than Superman (I mean time travel at will… come on!)

So what’s the point?

Maybe it’s time we all grew up a bit and looked for heroes that bring out the best in us not fix our problems.  Maybe it’s time we decided to do more than we think we think we can.  Maybe it’s time we stopped waiting for Superman (Or some other all-powerful overarching nanny figure… -cough- -cough- government) to come in and…

Figure out what we should eat…

Figure out what we need to spend our money on…

Figure out who we should help in our daily lives…

Maybe it’s time we took back the power to save ourselves.

The Problem with Being the Hard Edge

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This is going to be a bit on the philosophical side so bear with me.

 

At a fundamental level all life is movement.  At the basest levels you heat exchanges and chemical reactions all the way up to body movement and social movements then onto the cosmic movements of the universe.

All life can be summed up as movement from point another.  So with everything moving you are bound to have collisions.

In these collisions the bodies in motion change, they react to collision.  They will change direction or shape.

As you improve your mindset and your life you will begin to move in a clear direction, with purpose and intent.  Some will follow or emulate your actions and follow the path you cutting through the universe.  I follow from people who have gone before and try to emulate their path when it goes in the same direction to my own.  It’s natural in the strictest sense.

Others will attempt to derail your progress as you set forth goals and standards, particularly if they fall outside of those standards.  For the most part there is a collision and you go your way and they go theirs.  But every once in a while you encounter a person that requires you to be what I call a hard edge.

You have set your standards and your plans to get to where you want to go and there will be someone in your life that wants to get there but wants to do it outside your standards and your goals.  They will not simply collide and go away they will push, they will pull, and they will cut against you.

You will need to be the hard edge they fall against as you make your way to your goals.

This is not simple, there is a problem with being the hard edge.  It hurts.  It dulls you.  It slows you down.

You will question yourself.  You will lose sight of the goal ahead and with it motivation.

As much as conflict can make you strong, it can also tear you down if you are not properly honed.

Being intellectually honest with yourself is key to staying the hard edge against the pull of other people.  To stay honed ask yourself these questions and answer them as honestly as possible.

 

  • Are you doing the right thing to the best of your ability?
  • Are you trying to accomplish something that is good /purposeful for you or others?
  • What is their motivation?

 

If you can say that you are giving your best effort to do your best work then do not worry.

If you can say that you trying to accomplish something of meaning that will help yourself and/or others then do not worry.

If you can examine their motivations and find them to be less than pure do not worry.

 

Be the hard edge.

 

 

 

Fast Ideas to Live By Pt. 1

This is a collection of ideas that may help you today.  Not 100% original but worth repeating.

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  1. You will become the people you let be around you.  You will be as good or bad as them.  You will struggle to push yourself harder than they push themselves.  Don’t weigh them down and don’t let them weigh you down.  Be neither the Ox nor the Load.    
  2. If change is needed and you are…                                                                                               surrounded by chaos…  be the order that is needed.                                                 restricted by order…  be the change that is needed.                                                         beaten down by pain…  do no harm to others.                                                           comforted by love…  be at peace with the world.                                                       Resistance breeds strength…  know when to resist your environment to become stronger.
  3. Become addicted to the truth.  Above all else value the truth.  Sacrifice everything on the altar of truth.  If it is not true then it is nothing.  Could be’s, should be’s, and feelings have their place, but they are beneath what is true.  Your strongest held ideals are but paper if built on a lie or they are unshakable if built on the truth.  There is no value without truth.
  4. Be your best yourself.  Work to be better today than you were yesterday so that everyday you are becoming your best self.  Do not put yourself with people who do not think the best of you.  Avoid systems that are set up to make you feel bad or start you from a place of apology.