Apathy Vs. Acceptance


It was a surreal time.  Last year, mid election, mid terror attacks, mid everything in the world…  Transgender bathrooms became a hotly debated topic.  Really?

You know who really didn’t care?  Trans genders.  They didn’t want the attention, they didn’t want the spotlight.  For the most part they wanted to be left alone.  They wanted apathy.

Do you know what holds back social progress?  Acceptance.

When someone, probably angrily, tells everyone they need accept this new idea.

You know what?  They fucking don’t.  They really don’t.  And so the battle begins.







You know who suffers?  The people waiting for acceptance, when all they really want (for most part) is to be left alone.  Let’s be clear.  This isn’t the Civil Rights movement.  Ok?


We are not talking about Voting Rights.

We are not talking about diner counters, water fountains, and bus seats.

We are not talking about integrating schools.


We are talking about bathrooms.  For fuck’s sake most schools even have LGBTQ clubs.  At an age when schools used to tell kids “Wait to have sex.”  they now say “Try having sex with, try it all out…”

Honestly, Anyone who compares the Gay Rights struggle in the 2000’s with the Civil Rights struggle in the 1950’s and 1960’s owes black people an apology and free (gentle) knock upside the head.


If real “rights” were being denied, they we need acceptance.  What we are talking about is social perception.  (Side note: The Government is not designed to changed social perception with law, that’s just stupid)  When you want to change Social Perception you want apathy not acceptance.


What’s the difference?


Acceptance – A dramatic, long fought, court battle ends with a transgender person walking into a Target bathroom surrounded by applause.  The crowd goes silent… then a flushing sound…  Applause!  All ages and races approve and high five each other.


Apathy – A transgender person goes into a bathroom.  Uses the stall.  No one cares.  No one notices.  Life goes on.


See.  You can have apathy today!


Here’s the problem with acceptance…


  • You can’t, and shouldn’t, demand it. You don’t have the right.
  • It requires attention, or “awareness” in popular tongue, and it forces that attention on those who maybe don’t want it.


You don’t have that problem with apathy.  Apathy is also fair.  Your religion is yours to decide, your lifestyle is yours to decide, your political beliefs… on and on.  Your life is yours to live.


Think this through…




You go to buy a cake with two grooms on it.  The baker doesn’t want to do it.  You go to a government bureaucracy and say you were discriminated against.  Spend dozens of hours “fighting the good fight”.  Lawyers are involved.  The baker is fined out of existence.  A national dialogue is started.  Some people side with you.  Some people don’t.  Your wedding becomes a political flashpoint.





You go to buy a cake with two grooms on it.  The baker doesn’t want to do it.  Find a baker who does.  The baker who refused doesn’t make money, the baker who does want to makes money.

No one cares.  You move on.  You get a cake.



Think about what the world would be like if more people, the government especially, stopped trying to affect social perception and just embraced apathy.

Again, I’m not talking about harm being done to people, I’m not talking about “real” rights being denied.  I’m talking about bathrooms and cakes.

Apathy beats Acceptance every time.

So go forth… don’t be an asshole… don’t demand people accept you… be happy if they just don’t care.



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