Doing the Impossible

Okay, let’s start with the obvious.  If you do it, then was it really impossible?  Put a pin in that and we’ll get there.

First things first.  If you are the kind of person who is going to come to a talk about “doing the impossible” and think about Superman flying around and benching a bus or travelling through time and with your shitty little mouth say “See!  Some things are impossible!  Ha!  Suck it motivation guy!”

Allow me to respond…

Get

The

Fuck

Out!

You are a shitty negative person.  I am king of the shitty negative people and you are abusing the privilege.  Go fornicate with an iron rod, I have no use for you.

Now that that is out the way, let’s define the term.  By impossible I mean difficult to the degree that it seems unlikely to happen.  The statistical chance of failure is so high that success seems like only a matter of luck and not hard work.  That is my definition of impossible and it should be yours too.  More to my point you need to do more impossible things.

After my divorce I felt like I was released from prison.  I was on an upswing in health, which helped me mentally enough to survive the divorce, and I felt like for the first time in a long time I was in charge.  I spent so much energy “managing” my ex’s moods that I was restrained and limited.

I often relate moments in my life to movies and so it plays out in my head like this:

Conan Pushes the Wheel of Pain

For years I felt enslaved.

(Now let me be clear.  I enslaved myself in my own mind, but that’s a talk for another time.)

But when I was finally free.  I was powerful.  I was unbound.  The world was before me.  I was made stronger by looking back at my time on the wheel of pain.  I would never chain my mind or body again.

I did a lot of impossible things at that time.  Mostly just to prove things to myself (The only person worth proving anything to).

I had never considered myself an attractive guy.  So I tried to get a few dates and found it rather easy to do.  It wasn’t about getting a woman’s interest or sexual conquests.  These are petty things that put power into the hands of another.  It was about conquering my fears.  I didn’t think I was worth a woman’s time; that getting her to pay attention to me was impossible (there’s that word).  I opened an online dating profile the day I filed for divorce.  It was about my fear of “being out there” and getting over it.  Whether or not I succeeded at dating (whatever that means to you) is not the point.  I was afraid of the impossible thing and did it anyway.

I thought my glory days of getting in the ring and facing my fears, given form in an opponent, was over.  I had had a few fights before I was married and had since let myself really go.  I thought getting into a cage or a ring again was impossible.  But at 33 I worked hard, harder than I did at 18, and I got in there.  Now I’m no contender for the UFC; but that wasn’t the point.  I was afraid of something but I did it.  I overcame the fear and did the impossible.

One day I was looking at Living Social, as is my way.  I saw a deal for the Spartan Sprint.  5k 25+ obstacles.  Two weeks away.

Impossible.

That was my exact word as I clicked away.

Then it happened.  I felt my slave mentality that I had learned on the wheel of pain fall away.

“Fuck that.” I thought.  I clicked back and got out the credit card.

I ran my race.  I finished at the average time.  I did things I didn’t think possible.  The idea began to haunt me.  “What other impossible things could I have done?”

On the way out of the arena a guy handed me a flyer for the Spartan Beast in 6 months.

4 times the distance and obstacles I had just done.

Impossible.

Damnit!  There’s that word again.

Back to training I went.  I focused on running.  Made it a point push myself.

6 miles.

7 miles.

8 miles.

9 miles.

10 miles.

90 degrees.

100 degrees.

105 degrees.

Every week I pushed harder than I could before.  I tried again and again to force the impossible into the realm of my discipline.

I did the impossible.  I ran the Beast.

This year I will run ten races.

Impossible.

So, how did I do it?  How do I it?

I want to preface my answer.  I do not know if this mindset will work for you.  I don’t know your “wheel of pain”.  If any of this helps anyone then I’m glad to share it.

So, here goes…

To do the impossible, you must simply do the impossible.

I wanted to fight.

I needed to train.  I needed to get hit.  I needed to get back up.  I needed to get hit again.  I needed to give up everything bad in my diet.  I needed to push.  I needed to fall.  I needed to put myself into a world of pain.

I wanted to run.

I needed to walk.  I needed to jog.  I needed to run the stairs.  I needed to fall down.  I needed to break down.  I needed to run when it was cold.  I needed to run when it was hot.  I needed to run when others wouldn’t.

I wanted to not be afraid.

I needed to do what made me afraid.  I needed to decide that every time I saw fear there was no other way but through.

NOW, if you read all that I said to yourself.  It’s impossible… well then there you go.  If you cannot, will not, make the impossible steps leading up to the impossible leap then you are done.  You are where you are and you will go no further.  You are chained to your wheel of pain.  I mourn the loss of your greatness.

But if you can look at your diet and give up what you think you can’t live without.

If you can get at 5am, 4 am, discipline yourself to be in bed at 10pm.

If you can face what you are afraid of on sheer tyranny of your will.  If you can make a moments choice to live through the fear and face it down.

If you can do these impossible things…  Then you are ready to break the chains on your wheel of pain and you are ready to do THE Big Impossible Things.  You are ready to BE impossible.

Reborn and Breaking Chains

 

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The World is a Dangerous Place… Are You Strong?

Regardless of your political leanings, religious views, or even your affinity for common sense… everyone agrees the world is a dangerous place.

Let’s get past the uncontrollable stuff.

Sharks.

Car Accidents.

Diseases.

Natural Disasters.

All that aside; let’s talk about another dangerous aspect of the world.

People.

Consider this for a moment.

I don’t even want to get into this article.  Black guy threatening conservative woman… half of the people in this world are looking for past the facts of the story and asking “What about racial inequality?  What about gender issues?”  Those people are too far gone.

I am not talking to them.  Those of you who read this story and got a bad feeling in your stomach.  Maybe you shook your head.  Maybe sighed halfway through reading.  Maybe you felt old.  Maybe you felt powerless.

Maybe you hate Trump too, but above all that this just didn’t feel right to you.

This isn’t political.  You feel it; you know that deep down.

You people are who I’m talking to.  The rest can go verbally masturbate, I have no use for them.

Let me tell you my story.

Let’s go back to 2000.

Two white guys are running for president.

I am leaving a restaurant with a mixed group of friends.  Three females, one male, and myself.  We are discussing, not arguing who to vote for.  We were 18/19 and this was out first time voting.  We really hadn’t made up our minds.

I notice two young men approaching us as we walk to our car, they’ve overheard one of the females express an issue with one of the candidates.  They proceed to get between us and her and try to “correct” her.

This is not about sexism.  Maybe feminist would rather have us all be equal in this moment and I should have let this unfold.  Maybe some would say I was demeaned her as a woman by not letting her engage in political debate as an equal.

That same feeling you all got in your stomach reading that article.  I got that feeling.

I stood between them; hands up.

I ended conversation that I would call a confrontation.  No violence.  Just a firm stance and firmer word.  “This is not happening.”  They got the message.

Who knows how this story ends if I made a different choice?

So what about today?  What about this woman?  Should she have confronted the guy?  Nope.  Should she have thrown her drink at him?  Nope.

All this illustrates is that there is no peace in this world save the promise of the next AND what peace you make for yourself.

I am paraphrasing years of martial training and probably ripping off someone else’s quote but…

 

I practice violence so that I may have peace.

 

I recommend the same to anyone.

When confronted, I am calm because I’ve been there.  I’ve been threatened again and again.  Hit, choked, put into pain, and came back for me.

Every morning and every night I punish my body so that it will be strong when I need it to be.  This punishment gives me peace.  I do not react to danger out of anger.  I do not react to threats with overreaction, but with a measured and practiced response.

 

The key to all self-defense is the willingness that when the time comes you must be ready to do sudden and drastic violence.    

 

This is what I would tell every man is required.

This is what I would tell everyone woman is recommended.

Why the distinction?  I don’t know…  Why is it when there is violence, war, aggression men are more likely to die but woman are more likely to be raped, hurt, used, etc.?  Its life.  Pass your laws.  Argue.  Lecture.  Won’t change a thing.

Violence will happen.

Men, you will probably die if you are not ready.

Women, you will probably live but harmed.  That’s why I say you have a choice, a shitty one but a choice.

If you are not readying yourself.  Lifting.  Training.  Arming yourself (both mentally, physically with your body and without).  You are a fool.

Both men and women…  Look at yourself.  Do you look strong?  If the answer is no.  Please do something about it.

Start with this.